That said, I think missing a post was definitely worth it. Both events were very successful. In fact, they were so successful that we’re already starting to make plans for our next batch of events.
Personally, I think we should branch out and try some innovative types of events. For instance, I think we could start with a Ronald Reagan Day, during which we honor the most important figure in American conservatism by speaking only in Reagan quotes. Everyone who chooses to participate will be required to find a famous Reagan line to fit each and every situation they are in throughout the day (though, for some conservatives, this won’t actually require any change in behavior at all).
I also think we should have some CR-specific events. I would like to have Chris Jones lead a “How to Survive the Apocalypse” seminar. However, as I reread that event title, I realize that I’m not entirely sure which side of the apocalypse issue Chris is on, so that might end up being “How to Start the Apocalypse.” Either way, it’s probably a good idea to know what weapons Chris favors.
And I would love to host an “Ask Crowder” event. I imagine Justin Crowder sitting in the middle of a circle of his peers, whom we invite to pick Crowder’s brain about any issues they find pressing. That might sound innocuous enough. But knowing both Justin and the student body, I envision it ending with Crowder being showered in a hail of flaming arrows while he defends himself with a twenty foot tall American Flag, all the while shouting phrases like, “the knavery of the scoundrels!”
Finally, I think we should have a Bryan Weynand and Nash Keune Bobble Head Day. Maybe we could just pass them out around campus or even distribute them at basketball games (I mean, the same world in which the CR would have bobble heads is the same world in which we would be able to pass them out at basketball games). For one thing, it would be a good marketing ploy. But more importantly, I’ve always wanted to play with a bobble head of myself (I wonder what a psychoanalyst would have to say about that…).
But, as always, I would love to hear any suggestions you have (maybe something a bit more topical than the apocalypse or bobble heads?).
Update: One of the online comments on the DTH article about the protest against the recent $2,095 appropriation to SDS likened the protest group, which was supposedly composed solely of members of the Carolina Review, to a “right-wing goon squad” (despite the fact that the leader of the protest is a Democrat and only three of the protesters are on our staff).
Now, no such entity actually exists. But, I really wish it did. After all, as one of the Editors of the CR, I would presumably be one of the heads of that goon squad- which would be awesome. And, I mean, if people are going to treat us like we have a goon squad, why don’t we just go ahead and form one?
Of course, before we start our goon squad we would need to have some sort of recruitment and initiation process (sort of like a rush for our reactionary cabal). We already have matching t-shirts for everyone to wear (by the way, we recently uncovered a hidden cachet of Carolina Review shirts; just let me know if you want one).
And, this would give the CR editorial staff the opportunity to haze new recruits. For instance, we could have a “minute of shame,” during which we shout truly awful, terrible, and reprehensible terms at our prospective members to test their mettle, like “open minded,” “multiculturalist,” or “tolerant.” Whew- I shudder just imaging having to call innocent people such thoroughly objectionable words. Anyone who could possibly survive such torture would definitely be able to face whatever might be in store for our goons.